Divorcing: Managing the Family Home?

KEEPING THE HOUSE

When divorcing couples have school-age children, they often decide to allow one spouse to remain in the home to avoid disrupting the children’s routine, school attendance, and social relationships. This can be accomplished with written agreements between the spouses. Equitably allocating home expenses and mortgage payments by percentages or mutually agreeing on the delegation of financial responsibility will allow your family to focus on what matters most: the children.

A clear-cut, signed agreement drawn up by a mediator will help avoid contention surrounding responsibility for the maintenance, expenses, and future sale of the family home, whether it be to the spouse who remains in residence or an outside buyer. This is why it is important to know your financial position and how much each spouse can contribute. If one spouse fails to make their share of payments, it can negatively affect both parties’ credit ratings and complicate the later sale of the home.

If each spouse has provided appropriate evidence that they have sufficient resources to maintain this type of arrangement and is willing to participate in the agreement, this may be the right path. Some couples choose to reside in the home as roommates for different reasons. It might be that neither spouse is able to afford both their share of the home and a new residence, or it could be to decrease the abruptness and difficulty of the children’s transition. If, later, one leaves, that person will have increased financial obligations in finding a new place to live, so one should give serious thought before choosing this option.

Be aware, though, that some spouses are tied to the home, not only by their children but by their own emotional investment. The house represents stability and a happier time and provides shelter from the trauma of divorce. In keeping it, they may feel more in control of their situation. Some may think that keeping the home makes them the “winner,” despite the financial hardship it can bring. It is difficult enough to deal with divorce without later learning that unforeseen or unbudgeted expenses have crept in and taken a big bite of an already tight budget. Be realistic about what is affordable.

**Always consult your legal adviser for contingencies that are specific to your situation.

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